In reflecting on Chapters 1-3 of Getting To Yes I find it very interesting the author’s approach to problem resolution. Many people can’t help but to view problems from their position in the dispute. Many people can’t see the other side’s point of view because they are not focused on the other party’s interests but rather their position. When, as the author suggests, people listen to the other party and understand their interests, they are better able to understand their position. If you know why a person has a certain position, while it may not help you to agree with that position, it may allow you to better solve the problem by means of a compromise. A compromise is only possible if you understand the other person’s concerns, i.e. interests. Once you understand these concerns, you can address them when attempting to solve the problem. If you do not open the dialogue so that the parties understand each other’s interests, then a successful compromise or agreement is harder to achieve.
Furthermore, understanding that this is a conflict between two persons with emotions and interest of their own, both within the context of the dispute and outside of the dispute, helps people to better communicate. Once you understand that you are engaging in a conflict with another person and understand that person it places a certain emotional dynamic into the mix that may be helpful. Additionally, in instances where emotions are running high in a dispute, for example a divorce, it is helpful to separate the emotions from the problem, as emotions tend to blind people of solutions to their problems.
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